Jewish snakes and kosher sharks

The Jewish Chronicle reported Wednesday that an Israeli man was rushed to hospital after a snake bit his penis during a visit to the toilet.

The 35-year-old received medical treatment after feeling “a sharp burning sensation” on his penis last Friday.

The man was sitting on the toilet at his family’s home in Nofit, northern Israel. But then, oy vey, completely out the blue, a small snake came out of the toilet through the pipe and latched onto the end of his penis.

Sources within the Israeli Chief Rabbi office leaked yesterday that the snake was part of a new Talmudic program to counter the apparent influx in numbers of non-circumcised penises in Israel. A unit of kosher snakes has been deployed in the Israeli sewage, they apparently visit toilets and hit the Goyim where it really hurts.

Following the success of the snake unit, the Chief Rabbi, Willy Short, launched an experimental shark program in the Red Sea. A unit of 12 sharks is now undergoing intensive training. Within six month they are due to perform unsolicited in-water circumcisions.

Israel is famous around the world for it use of technology, however, the current usage of snakes and sharks is there to prove that the Jews are far from being detached from nature, as some Anti Semites often suggest!

Gilad Atzmon is an Israeli jazz musician, author and political activist. His new book, “The Wandering Who,” may be ordered from amazon.com or amazon.co.uk.

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