Compassionate corporatists

Recently, I wrote about the program Walmart has put in place to help their less fortunate associates or workers during this holiday season. If you didn’t see it, I described how Walmart has been encouraging some of their more fortunate associates and willing customers to donate canned foods to their colleagues to help them put food on the table for their families. I don’t know about you, but I never expected Walmart to show this much concern.

I also suggested that Burger King, Wendy’s, and MacDonald’s follow Walmart’s lead. Lo and behold, MacDonald’s had done just that. I don’t know if MacDonald’s was influenced by Walmart’s action but it appears that these corporate entities are really in the holiday spirit. They want to do what’s best for their workers.

These are not cold, uncaring people with hearts of steel. These are flesh and blood people. As Mitt Romney has said, “Corporations are people, my friend.” And, so they are.

Here is what MacDonald’s has done for its less fortunate workers. Through a website called McResources, the corporate folks have made the following suggestions:

Go on at least 2 vacations a year. (This reduces stress and cuts heart attack risk by 50%). They do not mention whether or not these vacations will be with pay

Break your food into pieces. If you take smaller bites, you’ll probably eat less. (I guess a bowl of Rice Krispies would be more than enough to satisfy one’s hunger.)

Sing out loud to lower blood pressure.

Sell your unopened Christmas presents and other possessions on eBay or Craigslist.

Advises their workers to check to see if they qualify for food stamps. Most of the fast food workers need food stamps to supplement their income so that they can feed their families. I never eat at any of these fast food restaurants. Nor do i shop at Walmart’s. But, I resent subsidizing these wealthy corporations because they refuse to pay their workers a living wage. I would suggest charging them for the public money we, the public, spend on food stamps for their workers and distributing that money to the workers.

Now, I’m aware that we could find fault with the above suggestions but it’s the thought that counts. We should find it in our hearts to pay tribute to the men and women who have taken their precious time to try to help the unfortunate. Maybe next year, they’ll come up with better and more useful ideas.

The latest update is that MacDonald’s has removed some of these “life-saving” suggestions from their website. They are no longer telling their workers to sell their Christmas gifts or to break food into small pieces so that they will be able to eat less while still feeling full.

Of course, there is no better idea than to have the minimum wage set at $15 per hour. Then they could tear down this helpful website.

Dave Alpert has masters degrees in social work, educational administration, and psychology. He spent his career working with troubled inner city adolescents.

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One Response to Compassionate corporatists

  1. Re: Compassionate Corporatists: Great follow-up piece Dave. Keep up the good work. And remember Tony A, this is SATIRE. It’s taking little bites out of Mickey D’s and Wal-Mart’s selfish butts. So, in this holiday season we’ll all get some big laughs at them for expressing their ongoing selfishness.
    Regards,
    Jerry Mazza