The Golden Globes: Hollywood’s most prominent women, costumed in black to support the #MeToo movement, were misty eyed, wonderstruck when Oprah Winfrey delivered her first campaign speech, inspiring liberals throughout the USA! USA! USA! to an orgasmic shattering-of-the-glass-ceiling altitude. Some among the crowd appeared transfixed, transcending the secular. Their faces rapt, as if they were witness to the birth of a saviorette. This time, one beloved enough to defeat Donald Trump. Fast forward to when there would be no need for a post-inauguration multitude of pussy-hat wearers from towns and cities throughout the country, walking, driving, busing, flying, raging to Washington, D.C., to protest the defeat of a neoliberal, regime-change warmongering, homogametic narcissist by a pussy grabbing, white nationalist, soon-to-be warmonger, heterogametic narcissist.
Oprah! Oprah! Oprah!
Can Winfrey do it? Why not? The Dotard-in-Chief has primed the pump for celebrity political apprentices.
In my inbox is an email from Trish Hatch (?) who’s started a petition for Oprah 2020. Here’s why Hatch believes Oprah should run for the presidency:
At times like these, she spoke the words our leaders should be speaking—and Oprah doesn’t just make speeches, she changes lives every day through her philanthropy. As a longtime advocate of female education, she has been dedicated to the development of a new generation of women leaders who, by virtue of their education and service, will lead the charge to transform themselves, their communities, and the larger world around them.
If you’ve read my work, you know my position on voting—that to vote is to endorse corruption, to consent to this system of capitalism that widens the gulf between the filthy wealthy and the working class.
“There’s a special place in Hell for women who don’t help each other,” said Madeleine Albright who has a reserved, blue-flame seat in the Inferno for supporting sanctions that killed half a million children in Iraq. Sure, she was apologetic for condemning women who refused to vote for Clinton . . . after hearing the massive criticism.
Would Oprah run, using Obama’s slogan of “Hope and Change”? Or this: “Not Trump”?
We can’t question Trump’s win though without examining Obama’s failures—failures that delivered Trump’s victory.
Remember when Obama said he wasn’t antiwar. He was just anti-dumb wars. Dumb wars like Iraq. Later, he and Hillary Clinton expanded war, destroying Libya. In fact, Obama ordered airstrikes in seven different countries.
If you are mourning H. Clinton’s loss, long for a return to Obama, Bill Clinton, even George Bush, you’ll slap an Oprah 2020 sticker on your bumper. For your particular politics, she’s an exemplar.
And the Republicans? If Trump didn’t want the win a little over a year ago, he may reject a second term, and if the Republicans continue along their current trajectory, Congressman Scott DesJarlais, who represents Tennessee’s 4th district, would be, well, exceedingly suitable. His curriculum vitae is potent. (Okay, this isn’t a conventional CV.) If you aren’t interested in hitting the link, feast on the following:
Republican Congressman Scott DesJarlais has largely managed to avoid scrutiny of his sexual conduct, although they conflict with his family-values platform.
DesJarlais, 53, said he supported his first wife Susan Lohr’s decision to have two abortions while they were together.
Before becoming a politician and while he was a doctor in Tennessee, still married to Susan, the Christian man admitted to sleeping with two patients.
He said he prescribed the now-banned painkiller Darvocet to one of the women. The father took her to Las Vegas and bought her an $875 watch.
When the second patient he was sleeping with, who was 24 at the time, thought she was pregnant, DesJarlais offered to take her to Atlanta to have an abortion.
The politician said he slept with six women, including three co-workers and a drug company representative, during his three-year marriage to Susan.
But now, the remarried DesJarlais proclaims that he is ‘pro-life and proud of it,’ and that ‘God has forgiven me.’
Appealing to Trump supporters? Yes—the voters who laughed when Dotard admitted saying, “You can do anything . . . Grab them by the pussy.” Or didn’t laugh but voted for him anyway, just because he ran on the Republican ticket and would advance their agenda.
If a politician says, “God has forgiven me,” even better.
Returning now to the Golden Globes. To the Liberal/Progressive cult-ers now shouting, “Oprah 2020,” because Oprah spoke to inspire women, not only women in the entertainment industry but also women with few resources. Here in the U.S.A. Imagine if she’d have spoken for the world’s women, the world’s people, addressing the world’s problems: climate degradation, war, poverty, inequality, capitalism, imperialism. She couldn’t. She wouldn’t. Because for Oprah, a neoliberal, solutions are found in the individual’s determination to succeed and free-market purchasing power.
Add another power, positive thinking. Then, eat, pray, love. We get what we deserve.
Missy Comley Beattie has written for National Public Radio and Nashville Life Magazine. She was an instructor of memoirs writing at Johns Hopkins’ Osher Lifelong Learning Institute in Baltimore. Email: email@example.com.