We finally have a real third party in the United States that the mainstream media is willing to talk about. I bet they’ll give them ballot access and everything. And this new party has nothing to do with the Democrats or the Republicans, right?
As Reuters reported—“Former Republicans and Democrats form new third U.S. political party”.
Wait? Made up of Republicans and Democrats?? You can’t form a new party out of the rejects from the old parties. That’s like having a counseling group for trauma victims made up of former Seal Team Six members.
Let’s keep reading. Maybe I’m being overly judgmental.
“Dozens of former Republican and Democratic officials announced on Wednesday a new national political third party to appeal to millions of voters they say are dismayed with what they see as America’s dysfunctional two-party system. The new party, called Forward…”
Wait a second. Where have I heard that name before?
Oh, that’s right. Nothing says “break with the past” like naming your party Barack Obama’s campaign slogan.
Anyway, let’s continue with the article.
The new party, called Forward… will initially be co-chaired by former Democratic presidential candidate Andrew Yang and Christine Todd Whitman, the former Republican governor of New Jersey.”
Great. So the guy whose only redeeming quality is that he endorses universal basic income—which is a great idea—but he does it because he loves capitalism. Capitalism is destroying the world and he wants to save capitalism.
I endorse UBI because I want to end exploitative capitalism. Do you get the difference? Intent matters. It’s like the difference between someone who endorses hair plugs for men because they want them to have confidence, enjoy their lives and be proud of their appearance, compared to someone who endorses hair plugs because they think hair plugs look fucking ridiculous and they want to laugh at everyone who gets them.
Besides, when push comes to shove, Andrew Yang buckles quicker than a Pilgrim’s hat on his universal basic income plan. He ran for mayor of NYC and he put forward universal basic income for some. According to this 2021 CNBC report, “Yang’s proposed income program would extend an average of $2,000 per year to New York City residents living in extreme poverty.”
His universal basic income dropped the “universal” part of the expression. It’s only three words and he forgot one of them and turned it into a worse version of food stamps.
Anyway, you have Andrew Yang, who endorsed Joe Biden for president, and Christine Todd Whitman, who also endorsed Joe Biden for president. So the new corporate party was founded by two people who don’t have brains functioning well enough to not endorse a war criminal who doubled the size of the prison industrial complex, making the U.S. the largest prison state in the world. Not to mention his wandering hands and sniffing women like they’re a meal at a nice restaurant.
The Serve America Movement, whose executive director is former Republican congressman David Jolly, also helped found the Forward Party.
Let’s take a look at some of Jolly’s interests and passions. He likes sending special operations forces overseas, securing the border, and increasing the vetting process for legal immigrants.
Finally, xenophobes and war hawks have a party where they can really express themselves. If only there had been other parties doing that before. I can’t think of any.
For the FULL analysis of just how terrible the new third party is, watch the full episode of “The Most Censored News.”
This article originally appeared in MintPress News.
Lee Camp is an American stand-up comedian, writer, actor and activist. Camp is the host of Behind The Headlines’ new series: The Most Censored News With Lee Camp. He is a former comedy writer for the Onion and the Huffington Post and has been a touring stand-up comic for 20 years.